Exclusive "The Expendables" Christmas TV Spot and Carols
Thu, 18 Nov 2010 10:40:40
Sylvester Stallone Videos
Do you want to give the action fan in your life the ultimate, explosive stocking stuffer? Then you need to get off your ass and grab a copy of The Expendables, easily the action flick of the year, when it comes out on DVD on November 23. Watch this earth-shaking clip now!
The Expendables was one of my favorite flicks of the summer, starring plenty of '80s heroes like Sylvester Stallone, Dolph Lundgren, who was the Russian opponent Ivan Drago to Sly's Italian Stallion Rocky Balboa in Rocky IV, Bruce Willis and Mickey Rourke alongside Jason Statham, Randy Couture, Jet Li and Steve Austin, who will forever be "Stone Cold" and "3:16" to me.
The only action stars who were missing and that would have made the film even better were Steve Seagal and Jean-Claude Van Damme.
Watch the spot below!
In honor of The Expendables being the quintessential holiday gift item, I've exercised some of my poetry writing skills and have perverted some classic holiday carols! Enjoy!
"Silent Night, Deadly Night" is obviously meant to be sung to the melody of "Silent Night." Somewhere, my Italian Catholic grandmother is turning in her grave!
The Expendables have come
To make shit right
Round up young ne'er-do-wells
All crazy and wild
And watch Stallone, Statham, Li, Lundgren, Willis, Couture, Austin and Rourke
Be anything but mild
Shoot and watch them weep
Shoot and watch them weep
"The Expendables, The Red-Faced Mercenary Crew" is set to the music of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer."
The Expendables, the red-faced Mercenary Crew
Have very shiny guns
And if you ever saw them
You would turn around, scream and run
All of the other mercenaries
Will be put to shame
Once Stallone, Statham, Li, Lundgren, Willis, Couture, Austin and Rourke
Kick their asses and make them lame.
Remember one sweaty, sweltering summer's eve
Movie executives came to say
Stallone, Statham, Li, Lundgren, Willis, Couture, Austin and Rourke with your '80s star power so bright
You're film debuted at #1 tonight
And how all the filmgoers loved them!
As they shot up their enemies on screen with glee
The Expendables can be yours
On November 23rd when it comes out on DVD
Applause, applause, right? I have a new career ahead of me in lyrics perverting.
Are you going to gift the testosterone laden bros and dudes in your life with The Expendables on DVD and Blu-ray on November 23? Bros before hoes. Remember that. Know it. Live it. Own it.
Check out our exclusive interview with Terry Crews here!