Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters Movie Review — 4 out of 5 stars
Fri, 25 Jan 2013 07:51:38
Now, according to Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters, there are many ways to kill a witch.
However, the best one as Jeremy Renner's Hansel puts it is to "set her ass on fire". For 90 minutes, the screen sizzles with brutal and bloody monster-mashing bliss, and that's what really ignites this flick as nonstop twisted fairy tale roller coaster. At moments, the movie channels From Dusk Till Dawn in terms of tongue-in-cheek action bombast, pitting badasses against the supernatural—witches in this case. Still, Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters has all the makings of a genuine cult classic down the line.
As the story goes, Hansel, an ever phenomenal Renner, and Gretel a sexy and equally potent Gemma Arterton, were abandoned as children in the woods. They end up at a candy house whose denizen happens to be an evil witch. Not only do the kids escape, but they "set her ass on fire". Realizing their impervious to witch magic, the duo then traverse the countryside knocking off other beldames. However, when one town begins losing children at a rapid rate, the two are confronted with their toughest coven yet.
The action is relentless. Whether Renner's blowing off a witch's head with his rifle or hanging on to a flying broom, director Tommy Wirkola paced the movie perfectly so there's never a break or lost beat. It's got the requisite blood to please gore hounds and some great one-liners, especially as Arterton slyly throws in the f-bomb artfully in the middle of a medieval world or Renner offers about a gingerbread house, "Whatever you do don't eat the fucking candy". There's also a gruesomely awesome gattling gun scene.
Renner remains one of the best actors out there right now. He can pull off the town, but he's also got the charisma and Clint Eastwood-style reckless savoir fare to be a hero in this setting. He and Arterton make for quite the action duo. Another impressive turn comes from Derek Mears. You might know him as Jason in the fantastic 2009 reboot of Friday the 13th, but here he takes on the role of Edward the troll. Mears hulking presence transcends the makeup and he adds emotionality to the creature with ease and class. He also does his fair share of destruction too, but that's par for the course.
This has all the elements of a classic action flick, and it's destined for cult status. Welcome to the most fun movie of 2013. Kick back, eat some fucking candy, and set some witches on fire with Hansel and Gretel.
Will you be seeing it this weekend?