Live Review: Guitar World's "Rock & Roll Roast" of Zakk Wylde
Fri, 20 Jan 2012 09:46:10
At Guitar World's inaugural Rock & Roll Roast last night, the bulls-eye went from being emblazoned on Zakk Wylde's signature Gibson Les Paul to being slapped right on the shred god himself.
Wylde's public crucifixion illuminated three things—rockers are a hilarious bunch, there's a lot of love for the bearded man of the hour, and everyone is convinced Brian Posehn is a sex offender. There must've been ten jokes about Posehn, but moving on…
Slipknot and Stone Sour singer Corey Taylor infused a deadpan delivery a la Paul Rudd with George Carlin-style insight for some of the night's best barbs.
"You dressed for the occasion—in your fucking superhero outfit," smirked Taylor of Wylde's signature Black Label Society vest and all-black combo. He went on, "I didn't know Asgard was a suburb of New Jersey. You can't tell from the records he makes, but Zakk really cares about music."
The Thor felt right on, as laughs abounded throughout the room at Taylor's witty jabs. After ripely ripping through Wylde, he genuinely declared, "Zakk, in all seriousness you're one of my best friends in the business. I fucking love you."
Taylor tempered his riffing with a heartfelt final comment that shows just how much Wylde affects everyone who he meets. Anthrax guitarist Scott Ian punctuated his moments at the mic by showing a photo of a young Wylde hanging with Anthrax backstage and adding, "We thought it was Farrah Fawcett wanting to blow us."
Wylde's come a long way from that 18-year-old kid who flipped heavy metal upside down when he joined Ozzy Osbourne's band. The expert on his growth is Sharon Osbourne, "mom". With youthful vibrancy and infectious energy, she exclaimed, "With how many BLS vests you've sold, you've moved more leather than my plastic surgeon". The crowd roared especially when she hit below the belt like only she can announcing, "When I think of the great legends of metal, I think of Zakk filling in for them and getting fired."
Mom didn't spare the roasters either adding that Taylor, Ian, Chris Jericho of Fozzy, Jim Florentine of VH1's That Metal Show, Brian Posehn, and Jim Norton resembled, "The worst OZZfest lineup buttfucked by the Kings of Comedy in a steel cage match."
One of the night's most righteously uproarious moments arrived with a recorded message from William Shatner. Shatner said "Priceline doesn't offer direct flights to shitholes like Anaheim" so that's why he wasn't present. He also added that the reason for our hero's success is Zakk Wylde "had something those other guitarists didn't—a truly hot ass wife".
At that moment, Wylde's wife Barbaranne Wylde is seen getting up from her knees as Shatner "sets his phaser to fun".
Another video with Randy Jackson announcing Wylde sold out because he played American Idol was pretty funny but nothing quite compared to Captain Kirk and Mrs. W.
Wylde received it all with one hearty laugh after another and when the table's turned he had some good ones himself. At the end, the Roast gave a look at another dimension of heavy metal and makes a case for the genre's sense of family and humor. Wylde certainly represents both of those facets tenfold himself.
Were you there?
See our interview with Zakk about the Roast here!