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Top 10 Portuguese Phrases Americans Need To Know

"TOP 10 WORDS THAT AMERICANS NEED TO KNOW IN PORTUGUESE"
By CSS

1. Bunda ("Boomdah")
The most popular thing in Brasil. The president? Soccer? Frozen yogurt? NOOOO. C'mon... it means BUTT!

2. Bicha ("Beeshah")
In the same way that everything is the NEW BLACK... BICHA is the new "Duuuude", but in a homo way (homo does not stand for homo sapiens, it stands for homosexual, like gay).

3. Água de Xuca ("Ahgwa the shukah")
This is such an insider thing. If you landed in São Paulo out of nowhere it would take you at least TEN YEARS to add this word to your vocabulary. You can scream this in a party and few people might laugh, you can even say that someone is "Água de Xuca". My mom, a portuguese teacher doesn't know the meaning and you don´t either. We won't say. Hahaha. As the Spice Girls say "If you wanna be my lover you gotta get with my friends."

4. Pinga ("Peengah")
If you come to Brazil, and you want to taste the best juice out of our country, just ask: I want a PINGA POBRE. I promisse that after this, you´ll see a multi nippled and multi assed dancer naked in front of you. Good luck.

5. Caipirinha ("kaipee-reeñhah")
Ok, that´s the classic drink. If you have a good friend that has ever been to our country, you´ll get to know what is that. If you don´t have a clue of what it is, when you get here, just ask for 10 Caipirinhas in a row. You will be very very fine. If the guy asks you: "Caipirinha or Caipiroska?", you answer: CAIPIRINHA WITH PINGA POBRE. You´ll be able to watch a hot dance with a guy with triple penis and a girl with a thousand toes.

6. Uó ("UhhOh")
We use this word a lot. This is an old gay slang. So if you hear an old gay man saying it and believing in the word it might make you feel angry. So don't believe in the word. In fact I think we all don't like this word. But it's incredibly stuck in our lonely minds.

7. BAFO! ("Bahpho")
Bafo is like a "WOW", but WOW doesn't mean anything besides an expression. And BAFO! is STINKY BREATH. So watch and learn: if someone say that YOU ARE BAFO is something extremely good. But if someone says that YOU HAVE BAFO it's not good.

8. Hoje eu acuendei um bofe bafo ("Oji eh-oo aqwenday umm bhoph Bah-pho")
This is a good example: it means "Today-I-fucked-so-good-I-broke-the-guy's-back-and-the-guy-was-so-BAFO". I think I don't need to go further.

9. Cola no meu velcro ("Kolah kno meoo vehlkro")
You shouldn't say this to no one. ABSOLUTELY NO ONE. Only to your friends, and it sounds good if a straight guy says it. Because it's a lesbian thing, but it's something that don't need to be said. If you say this in bed (to a guy or a girl, it's not strictly "FEMME2FEMME") specially with a sexy voice you might get a punch on your teeth to break all of 'em. That's what I would do.

10. Tá Fluindo, Tá bacana, tá gostoso. ("Tah Flooweendoo, Tah Bhacahnah, Tah gostowzo")
Don't say this. It sounds bad. You'll make a fool of yourself. We say this every time when we play a good gig. Or even when we play a bad gig. And we also say this after throwing up or taking a shit. Yeah, specially after taking a shit.



Thanks to CSS for this enlightening and practical list of Portuguese expressions. Their new album, Cansei de Ser Sexy *(Portuguese for: "Tired of Being Sexy"), is available now in the ARTISTdirect Store!