Crazy Train! – The Top Ten Craziest Rock Stars Ever
Thu, 03 Jun 2010 15:20:08
To celebrate the release of Get Him to the Greek, here is a look at ten of the craziest rock stars to have jammed on this mortal coil.
Anybody who has a band called Infant Sorrow deserves to be on this list, in my opinion—even if they're a fictitious character from Get Him to the Greek. We first fell in love with Aldous in the hilarious and slightly underrated 2008 movie, Forgetting Sarah Marshall. It was one of the best comedies of the last decade! Seriously (err, I mean funnily)! Aldous—the egomaniacal, flaky, lothario pop singer from across the pond—was a recovering addict in Sarah, but has apparently relapsed in Greek. Our thoughts and prayers are with you to right the ship, Aldous, but not before we properly honor you on this list!
Ozzy, the self-proclaimed "Prince of ****ing Darkness" is a legend and often credited with inventing heavy metal (the genre of music—I'm not talking about alchemy or anything). Besides that distinct honor, he is one insane dude. As many people know, he bit the head off a bat at a concert, which we've come to learn was an honest accident; Ozzy thought it was a toy bat. However, later in his career when he had just signed with CBS Records, Ozzy had another wild moment involving an animal and biting off its head. What luck! Ozzy planned to release two doves in the air at his first meeting with CBS executives. Instead, a drunk-as-a-skunk Ozzy bit the head off one of the doves to the horror of everyone in the room. Talk about a buzzkill. Don't forget that The Osbournes TV show revealed his family was pretty crazy too. Hopefully though, Ozzy's changed his diet since the dove incident.
It's hard to think this legend was only twenty-seven when he passed away in a bathtub. As one of the most influential and iconic singers of all time, he certainly had his share of demons. While attending UCLA, Morrison would reportedly bring wine to class, drink it and roll the bottles down the aisles to cause a ruckus. There are many well-documented onstage incidents stemming from Morrison being incredibly drunk. Then, in 1970, Morrison married a witch! However, none of the proper paperwork was filed (paperwork and rock stars do not a good combination make!) so it was never legally recognized. When he died in Paris in 1971, French law prevented an autopsy since there was no sign of foul play. To this day, his official cause of death remains somewhat of a mystery. My theory? He died of a broken heart. Just kidding—it was definitely drugs.
The late Sex Pistols manager Malcolm McLaren once claimed that Sid Vicious was the "attitude" of the punk rock movement. He definitely wasn't the bass player of punk rock- it was well known that Sid could barely play the instrument. Sid made a successful, yet short-lived career on his craziness. In 1978, Vicious awoke to find his girlfriend Nancy Spungen dead in his apartment, with a single stab wound to her abdomen. Vicious (which is an unfortunate name to have when you're suspected of murder!) couldn't remember what happened, at one point telling authorities that Spungen had fallen on the knife and stabbed herself. Didn't Tiger Woods say he tripped and landed on all those mistresses? Your honor, I rest my case! After being released from detox in 1979, he overdosed on heroin and died from IRONY.
Ol' Dirty Bastard
Ahh, here’s to ODB- the Ozzy of hip hop. Just listening to the man's voice, you knew he was completely insane. As Wu-Tang Clan's resident crazy, The Bastard had many interesting run-ins with the law (and with public opinion). He once rushed the Grammy stage, was caught with more crack than a plumber, and eventually changed his name to Big Baby Jesus. 'Nuff said! God rest his soul.
The man who convinced Mick Jagger he couldn't get no satisfaction has been tried on drug-related charges a whopping five times, but only the first one involved a prison sentence. He has been the life-long butt of any drug/ rock star behavior joke. Then, in a 2007 interview, Richards mentioned that he snorted his father's ashes mixed with cocaine. However, his behavior seems to have calmed down a bit. That means Richards has been replaced by Lindsay Lohan as the number-one seed in many office celebrity death pools. Why did he stop doing drugs? He said modern contraband wasn't strong enough to get him high, and therefore not worth doing anymore. Yikes!
He may be crazy, but at least he follows through! Last year, Axl finally released one of the most long-awaited albums in rock history, Chinese Democracy. Unfortunately, by the time it came out, no one cared anymore. Rose is well known for public rants at fans from stage, and has been hours late for shows numerous times. He has been described by colleagues as bi-polar- at times sweet and extremely kind, at other times belligerent. Friends have said his eyes would even change color with his moods. At least you have a warning system for how he's going to act!
As the genius behind the Beach Boys, Wilson heard voices, felt suicidal, and was eventually diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia, manic depression, and brain damage years after he became known as an eccentric. In 1970, Brian Wilson met some kids backstage at a show and introduced himself to them. They turned out to be his children. That had to make for an awkward Thanksgiving.
Many people may not know GG Allin, who lived a nomad's life as an underground hardcore punk front man. He may not have had the notoriety of Mick Jagger or Keith Richards, but he certainly brought the crazy! Allin was known for defecating and urinating on stage, cutting himself up at shows and performing nude, as well as using bad words. GG Allin was actually born Jesus Christ Allin, when his religious father claimed that Jesus Christ himself had visited him to say what a powerful son he would have. Apparently the insane apple doesn’t fall far from the insane tree. Perhaps from his namesake, GG Allin came to view himself as the messiah of rock 'n roll- destined to take it back from corporations looking to turn a profit on the genre. Allin was arrested and imprisoned for rape and torture, and he spoke freely on camera about having an underage girl urinate in his mouth in one instance. Allin's life is recounted on the fascinating documentary Hated, which was Todd Phillips's first film! You know Todd as the director of the comic gems The Hangover and Old School—both of which were much more light-hearted than Hated.
Jackson's eccentricities and legal troubles have been well documented, and it feels strange to drum them up after his tragic passing. However, it'd be a disservice not to mention the King of Pop and his seemingly endless list of odd behavior. He lived on an amusement park, had several creepy legal battles fighting child molestation, adopted children and dangled them over balconies, and turned $750 million dollars into a staggering debt. Who could lose that much money, other than George W. Bush? In the end, Jackson met a tragic end and left behind an astonishingly profound library of music that will live forever. Hopefully for him, that music will outlast articles like this one drudging up the man’s crazy lifestyle! He's got a fighting chance.
There it is: a glimpse into the crazy world of rock 'n roll. Thesestars are just ten out of the hundreds of rock stars we could recount. It seems there is definitely a correlation between great artistry and insanity. So with that in mind, rock stars—we'll take your mad behavior as long as you keep delivering the hits. Just stop texting us at 3am to say your dad was the Zodiac killer!
Who do you think is the craziest rock star ever?